It’s okay… in Canada

In October I came out to Canada on a 2 year Working Visa. Since then I’ve been living in Toronto. One of the main questions I get asked is why? Why Canada, why did I get the visa etc. When I answer that I just wanted a change and didn’t have anything tying me down so seemed like a good time to try it, the response I often get is how BRAVE I am.

The last 4 months have been a mix of up and downs. There of course has been some really great times, exploring a new city, meeting new people and trying new exciting things. There have been times I’ve been really proud of myself for what I’ve achieved and how I’ve handled things.

It’s not all easy though and I feel we often focus so much on the excitement and bravery of doing something new that we forget to talk about these struggles and how it’s also okay and normal to have them.

Moving to a new place is hard, getting and starting a new job(s) is hard, meeting new people and making new friends is hard and doing it all in a new country is definitely hard! Whether doing it for the short term, long term or for an amount of time your not even sure of (like me), it’s hard. And that’s okay, it’s actually to be expected!

However, when I have struggled, had to battle to not let anxiety and/or depression take over, having these struggles has just made me feel weaker. I’ve not felt brave, I felt silly and stupid to put myself through this, to add on the extra pressure of starting fresh in a new country, “just because I felt bored” and “why would I think I could do this when I already struggle with my mental health as it is?”

Of course I know these negative thoughts aren’t real but when you’re already stressed about things, they certainly don’t help. It can be never ending, the stress can cause the negative thoughts and the negative thoughts then cause more stress.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the chance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying everyone should and can do this, you have to be in the right place mentally for you and preparing yourself and knowing where you can get support helps. I’m here with support from a Working Holiday company. They help me understand everything I need to know about living and working in Canada, can help with job searches, hold social events and are generally there for support. It’s cost extra to do it this way but it’s been well worth it for me, just knowing  I have that support if and when I need it.

You don’t need to let your mental health be a reason not to do something you really want to do. Sure it’s not going to be easy all the time but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Also if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay and doesn’t mean you’ve failed! I got a working holiday visa for Australia 4/5 years ago but only ended up staying a couple months after really struggling mentally. At the time I judged myself for failing but really it just wasn’t right for me. I also learnt more about myself from that and did some things differently this time.

I turn 29 in a few days. When I was younger that seemed like such a grown up age, I time when I would have my life together. The last 4 months have not felt like that. The one thing I keep reminding myself is that we all do things in our time. There’s is not a right way or place you should be by a certain age, only what is right for you!

Anyway, the current status is I am living and working in Canada and generally enjoying it so far! I’m glad I took this chance on myself,  I’m proud of myself. I’m also take everything as it comes and just seeing what happen so watch this space 😀